Late...
I'm late, and I need to get some stuff out of my head, so please don't judge me or any decisions I make here. If you don't feel you can do that, please leave now.
Still with me? OK. I am two weeks late and counting. I have got to the point where one minute I am planning the future - thinking about baby names, wondering if I'd prefer a girl or a boy, and the next I am thinking NO WAY. I'm so confused!
This sounds selfish, but I am young and I need to further my career in order to finance a family. This was my plan, to get qualified then start a family in about two or three years time. So logic says that I should continue with this plan because I can't afford to start a family now.
Logic = abortion, but human beings have the curse otherwise known as feelings, in particular guilt. Can I really deny another human the right to live? If I am pregnant and end up having an abortion, will I regret it for the rest of my life? Will I always think about what might have been? What happens if this ends up being my only chance of having children and I throw it away?
My OH is not really helping. He says that he will support me whatever my decision, but refuses to say what he'd prefer me to do. He thinks that if he does he'll influence my decision and if I regret that decision later on he'll be blamed. I just want to know what he thinks. I'm scared and I want to know if he's scared too. Are these same thoughts running through his head?
Arrgh.
I thought that writing some of this stuff down would help me to see things a bit more clearly, but it's not. If anything I am more confused than ever.
Still with me? OK. I am two weeks late and counting. I have got to the point where one minute I am planning the future - thinking about baby names, wondering if I'd prefer a girl or a boy, and the next I am thinking NO WAY. I'm so confused!
This sounds selfish, but I am young and I need to further my career in order to finance a family. This was my plan, to get qualified then start a family in about two or three years time. So logic says that I should continue with this plan because I can't afford to start a family now.
Logic = abortion, but human beings have the curse otherwise known as feelings, in particular guilt. Can I really deny another human the right to live? If I am pregnant and end up having an abortion, will I regret it for the rest of my life? Will I always think about what might have been? What happens if this ends up being my only chance of having children and I throw it away?
My OH is not really helping. He says that he will support me whatever my decision, but refuses to say what he'd prefer me to do. He thinks that if he does he'll influence my decision and if I regret that decision later on he'll be blamed. I just want to know what he thinks. I'm scared and I want to know if he's scared too. Are these same thoughts running through his head?
Arrgh.
I thought that writing some of this stuff down would help me to see things a bit more clearly, but it's not. If anything I am more confused than ever.
posted by 20SomethingGirl at 10/09/2006 11:41:00 am
4 Comments:
First of all don't panic, two weeks late can mean alot of things and take that from experience. Stress and other factors can lead to this as well, so until you know for sure...
Of course he is just as confused and scared as you are. He is just showing it differently and trying to do what everyone tells us men to do, be strong and try not to impose your will on others. This is a difficult thing to face for someone young and not ready.
I don't know your situation enough to comment on your options, so just know that my thoughts are with you and any strength you need that I can offer, you are welcome to.
But there are many women around here that have been faced with this decision before and I would strongly encourage you to reach out to them and look for their support and advice.
Write me direct if you're not sure who they are and I'll be happy to get you in touch with them. :) Love.
Wow, such overwhelming support. Thanks for your kind words. *kisses*
Hi there, I don't know how I found your blog--I was just cruising but wanted to share my story. Hopefully it will help. I was 21 when I got pregnant by surprise; I was in college and married at the time.
Hubby (he was 8 yrs. older) was happy and wanted us to keep it. I chose to abort and I have no regrets. I am now 34 and still don't want any children. I'm happy with my decision--I followed my gut instinct. Sit down and have some quiet time or go for a long walk. Ignore everything you've heard and read and listen to yourself deep down. There's your answer.
hope it helps,
hugs
Wow been there done that. I would never dream of telling you how to make this decsion. Just wanted you to know that I'm wishing you the best and hope all works out for the best!
hugs
Des
Post a Comment
<< Home